This post is part of a continuing series of posts to prepare you for going on your first mission trip. There is not always conflict when you are on mission, however, it does happen and if you are prepared you are more likely handle it in a godly way.
The mission project is going great, the team is singing on the job, playing with the neighborhood children on breaks, and seeing people really open to the gospel message.
There is a common story that happens, though the details differ. Put fifteen Americans in another country, sweating over wheelbarrows full of concrete in 100 degree heat, eating rice and beans every day, sleeping on the concrete floor of a church…and someone is sure to get cranky.
Ask the cranky team member privately what is bothering him or her. Amazingly, the response may have nothing to do with the heat or the hardness of the floor. What’s most likely to be driving the cranky team member crazy is a fellow teammate with whom he or she works all day.
Why does this stuff happen? Shouldn’t we all just get along? Or should we just expect these difficulties? It’s important to remember that the enemy of our souls would like nothing more than to have us be defeated within the team. But you need to personally prepare for inevitable friction by looking at some steps for dealing with conflict…anywhere.
1. Take time to identify your feelings. What’s going on inside you? Is it frustration, anger, fatigue? Before taking any action, pray about your feelings. Defeat the enemy by claiming God’s control over the situation. A good night’s sleep may help.
2. Define the cause. Are there external circumstances like the heat or the dirt
causing aggravation? Or are there internal issues like a personality difference or a power struggle?
3. Take some steps. First pray about your side of the conflict. Decide how you are going to respond to the person with whom you have the conflict. Don’t just stew about it.
Remember Jesus’ story about the log and the speck in Matthew 7? Read the first five verses and write out the question to ask yourself in your own words.
From 1 Thessalonians 5: 11-15, make a list of the attitude checks that you want to remind yourself of when facing a conflict with someone.
When you decide to confront someone:
· Find an appropriate time and place when both of you are calm and rested.
· Honor the ground rules of stating only your own issues.
· Honestly confront the issue.
· Ask forgiveness for your part.
· Seek restoration.
· Propose a compromise.
· Consider praying together.
· If you need another’s help, follow the pattern found in Matthew 18.
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1 comment:
Being a working mom/nurse, I work with all kinds of crazy personalities...most of the people I work with would say they are Christian - and maybe some more than others. I work in a female-predominant area of in nursing. All that said, I think you learn to work with all those crazy personalities and as a nurse, you examine the personality traits, too... you look at where the person is on the mental health continuum & what may influence them to be on that part of the continuum. All that affects how they respond to things. As a nurse, I work in the area I am in because I want to take care of kids.
One of my favorite tools to looking at a person on the mental health continuum is Eric Erickson's Psychosocial Stages...it is looking at a person's chronological age and then looking at the person's life & circumstances and seeing where they are psychosocially. A person that is 20 may be 20, but psychosocially, they may be in the "Trust vs. Mistrust" (birth-18 months) stage because to things that happened to them. It is a great tool to help understand someone better than just superficially.
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