Top ten ways to be a good guest

Today's picture is a community gathering place in one of the barrios in Columbia. This place had a cement floor and a tin roof. It was great to have this gathering place to teach True Love Waits because it allowed us to be out of the sun.

It’s not always easy to be a good guest. When you were little, your mother may have given you a few tips when you went to visit someone. It’s not natural to know what’s expected of you. Here is a list of practical tips on being a guest in a cross-cultural situation. Though you may never fully understand why, it’s a pretty sure bet that these ten social hints (in no particular order) are universally acceptable for acting with sensitivity and humility.

1 Show respect for your host by using the proper greetings and titles, especially to the eldest in the group.

2 Ask your new acquaintances about their families. You can show them pictures of your family, but leave out the ones of your U. S. standard house or car.

3 Be a good observer and listener, and ask polite questions. Try not to talk too much-usually not a problem when you don’t know the language.

4 Dress appropriately to show honor to the culture. Women should dress modestly and have their shoulders covered. Women shouldn’t wear shorts or pants unless given permission by the host organization. Men need to ask about wearing shorts also.

5 Act very discreetly with the opposite sex. Avoid public displays of affection. For singles, avoid being seen alone or talking alone with the opposite sex. You can pursue any new relationships that may interest you when you get home.

6 Always show gratitude for your accommodations and food, whatever they may be.
You are most likely receiving the best they have to offer. Don’t boast about what Americans have.

7 Never show your temper. Many cultures see a display of anger as the greatest of sins.

8 Be sure you get permission to photograph someone. Don’t offend your hosts by taking photos of what may be considered private space or what is considered a negative aspect of the country.

9 Show empathy and appreciation, not pity, for the surroundings. This is your new friends’ home. Show respect for it, and if there are beggars in the area, ask your host how to respond to them since local philosophies and practices vary from place to place.

10 Be flexible with your time. Go with the flow of the culture and the ministry you’re involved with. Go to learn and serve, not to keep track of the time. Remember what they say about Americans: “They have the watches, but we have the time.”

Read Romans 15:1-9. Why should we seek to please others?

In verse 5, what is the worthy goal for being unified with brothers and sisters in Christ from another culture?

In reviewing the ten hints, circle the number of the ones that will be the most challenging for you to follow. Pray about each one. You many want to discuss the difficult points with your teammates.

Which is better, a vacuum cleaner or a broom?

Today's photo is from Romania. These cows were trained to walk down the road and even open their own gate and go into their barn. They would never survive on our roads here in the US. This picture is a good example of today's study in preparing for a mission trip.

“Heads up!” is an expression of warning commonly used when someone is about to get clunked by a flying object. Well, here is a “heads up” about a common cross-cultural issue that often clunks short-timers and makes them fall.

Most Americans are great workers and up a high priority or value on doing a task with utmost efficiency. Remember the “hard-working” stereotype? There is an old adage that one doesn’t play until the work is done. Most Americans actually enjoy getting a job done…and the faster, the better!

Let’s look at an example from our culture: the floor is dirty. The smartest, easiest, and most efficient method of cleaning the floor has been invented – the vacuum cleaner. Every year there are newer and better vacuum cleaners on the market. The new ones are lighter, have more suction, and now have directional lights…all to clean your carpets easier, faster, and more efficiently. This is important to us. Investing in a product to do the job quicker and better than the old method is a no-brainer.

Now let’s consider the people in the country where your team is going. Possibly the thousands of years, the floors have been cleaned in the same way: with a broom. No one’s complaining. No one seems to be looking for a better method. Would anyone in these countries want the vacuum cleaner that was just described? Probably not.

The broom-users are happy to sweep and may choose to spend time talking with a friend who just dropped by while they are sweeping. Efficiency may never have crossed their minds.

Many cultures value their relationships higher than anything else and put little value in doing a task most efficiently. Now here is the “heads up”. If we are to be servants with the humility and love of Christ, we need to show openness and acceptance to the way of life of our hosts. When it comes to doing a task, you may be tempted to think and act more like an American than a Christian. When you’re tempted to ask the typical American question, “How can this job be done better or faster?”, you need to stop and remind yourself that this culture is operating with different values and that your question might be inappropriate or even disrespectful.

Demonstrating your acceptance of the way things are done in other countries shows honor, respect, and the love of Christ.

So remember:
Be open to learning why your hosts do things the way they do.
It may not be important to introduce them to your favorite higher technology.
You are trying to build relationships that honor the Lord, whom you represent.
You have come to serve in whatever capacity is needed.
You have come to learn from your new friends.
You have come to accept and love brothers and sisters in Christ who are different from you.

Read Philippians 2:3-4. Paraphrase these verses to concur with the points listed about. You may find this passage helpful to memorize.

So what are you so afraid of?

Today's picture is from Tanzania again. We are doing a Bible study outside and the children are playing on a large piece of fabric that was laid out for them. Many times the team has to make due with what is available. We have little control over the details in remote areas but God takes care of them.

Facing a group of women, I informed them of a new twist in the plans for their first mission trip. We were going to be staying in the homes of nationals from the church we were serving in the barrio…instead of a downtown hotel. I saw a wave of panic wash over their usually enthusiastic faces. New fears had been born in an instant; fears of eating weird foods, of sleeping who knows where, of scary bathroom facilities. Things had taken a sharp turn off the highway and onto an unknown, curvy road.

There are all sorts of fears that sneak up on us when we’re preparing to serve in another country. It is a good idea to acknowledge some of these fears before the trip. Some are more severe than other, but they can be paralyzing.

One person may fear whether the plane will land on time. Another will be worried about whether the plane will land at all. There are bugs and things that go bump I the night and there may be little things that are secret fears, like getting homesick or having a bad hair week. We all have them. Let’s start with identifying some of your fears.

Jot down a few of your own fears, including your secret ones.

Remember that many fears will dissipate as you learn about your geographical setting, ask questions of your hosts, and begin to understand the circumstances that can induce those fears. Remember that your hosts may be having some fears of their own regarding you. After all, you are a stranger to them, too. So the first step may be to ask good questions to get to know each other and allay some of your fears that way. However, you may still be burdened with some fears.

One of the most common saying of Jesus found frequently throughout the Gospels is “Fear not.” You may be asking yourself how it is possible to not feel fear about the things that will confront you on the trip.

In Luke 12:22-31, Jesus reasons with His disciples about the things that concern them. Read this passage, and summarize in your own words the concerns mentioned in verses 22-23.

Write down what Jesus teaches about common worries. From verses 24-26

From verses 27-31

The passage in Luke gives us God’s perspective on some physical worries and fears. There are other kinds of fears as well. In Philippians 4:6-7, Paul gives us another means to finding God’s peace over our fears. What are we encouraged to do?

Learn Their Story - Tell Yours

Today's photo shows some of our interpreters in Tanzania. They are pastors and members of the church there. Today our study for preparing for a mission trip is about telling your story. Some people are great storytellers by nature. Others have to work at it. But one thing is sure, people love to hear a story. Telling stories is a way of life in many cultures. When you show interest in the story of someone you meet from another culture, you may win a new friend. Find an interpreter, if you need one, and listen to people’s stories. Then be ready to tell your own.

When you visit other cultures, people are curious and will want to know why you have come. How will you answer this? “To work on a building” or “to teach a class” may be appropriate answers, but perhaps there is a better answer. Maybe this is an opportunity to articulate more than the obvious. Maybe this is an open door to share the spiritual dimensions of your answer. Sometimes telling your story may include how Christ has motivated you to serve.

Another situation that may occur as you visit a church is that the pastor may ask you to “give a greeting.” Your group might be tempted to stand up, wave and nod, and then sit back down. However, in most places, this request if for far more than that kind of greeting. It means that someone from your group will be expected to go up front and speak. How are you going to respond to this opportunity? The best response would be to count it the perfect time to not only bring a greeting from your country, but have someone share his/her story or testimony.

Read 1 Peter 3:15, and write out the encouragement from Paul.

In 1 Timothy 4:12-16 Paul challenges his young disciple, Timothy. In what ways was he supposed to be an example?

Take some time over the next few weeks to work on your story. It may be about how you first came to Christ or possibly some later event in your journey of faith. It is always good to think of your audience. As you begin to work on your story, think of the things you have in common with those you are going to serve. There are many universal aspects to life like family, school, work, marriage, etc. There are also the universal themes of life like the pursuit of happiness, peace of mind, individual dignity, security, etc. There are negative themes that plague all of us, like the host of sins that we deal with or feelings like fear, anger, or disappointment. These matters touch everyone…regardless of your place on this planet.

So, as you reflect upon your life, you will want to ask the Lord for wisdom and help you as you write your unique yet universal story.

Some questions to answer as you work on your story:
· How did I realize my need for a Savior or how did Jesus meet me in my time of need?
· How can I clearly explain how to accept God’s love and forgiveness through my story?
· What difference have I experienced in my life because of accepting God’s love and forgiveness?
· What are some of my negative attitudes, actions and motivations that have changes?

Practice your story and ask for feedback. Keep it simple, don’t use exclusively Christian or popular jargon that won’t translate, and practice speaking in short phrases since you may be giving your story through an interpreter.

Preparing for a Missions Trip - Day Six

Today's photo was taken during recreation time at the VBS in Romania. The children were orphans at the VBS and it took a while for the children to trust the team members. Today is day six of our study to prepare for going on a mission trip.

Are you an American first or a Christian first?

How can you really get to know the people you’re going to serve? It can take years to really understand people from a different culture. You know you won’t be there for very long. Let’s press the pause button and consider this approach first. The experts tell us that understanding other cultures can begin with having an understanding of our own culture.

First we have a few words that represent some positive stereotypes or traits of North Americans.
*friendly*outgoing* hardworking*generous*well-educated*reliable*confident

Sounds great! Makes you proud to be an American! In fact some of these qualities may be among your personal motives for wanting to go on a mission project in the first place. These qualities may have their roots in your cultural heritage.

Take a moment today to ask someone to describe an American. What terms did he or she come up with?

There are other not-so-positive stereotypes attached to North Americans:
*materialistic*wasteful*domineering*arrogant*disrespectful of authority*

These more negative traits come from the darker side of our culture. They come from sinful patterns through the years. This may be an important time to look a bit deeper within your self. Is your life influenced by some of these negative traits? Ask your self a probing question, are you an American first or a Christian first?

Much of the success of fitting in and serving those in another culture will be related to how we deal with these negative stereotypes. As we accept and grapple with these harmful traits, as Christians, there is good news…we do have the power not to be controlled by them through Christ.

We know that God is in the business of transforming our lives as we give ourselves to Him. In Romans 12:2, Paul pleads with Christians not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Therefore, let’s get some help from a powerful passage in Philippians.

Read Philippians 3:7-21. If we desire to become everything God wants us to be, what encouragement do we find in verses 12-16?

We read in verses 18 & 19 that some have their minds saturated with the attitudes and values of today’s culture. Yet verses 20 & 21 remind us that as Christians, our citizenship is in heaven. What does that mean to you personally?